Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
