Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
