You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
