What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
