It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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