They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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