It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
