dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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