He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
