I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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