You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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