In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
