If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He shit in the fireplace
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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