There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
