I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
