She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
