Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
