I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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