come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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