that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...