He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us