1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
