Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
