Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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