moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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