god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
