My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
