You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
