I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
