That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
