I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
