I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
