I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
