I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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