walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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