he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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