There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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