so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
