reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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