ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
