Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
