So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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