mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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