Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
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He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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