I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize