I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
