They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
