i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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