stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
