The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize