I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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