Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
