Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
