Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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