After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
