A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
