Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
