Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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