she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
