I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
