I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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