May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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