You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just found puke in my bra..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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