ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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