Ambien. No doubt about it.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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