My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize